Advertisers: Stop ruining songs!
Okay, I was watching The Rainmaker on TV –oooh don’t get me started on insurance company evil– when I saw three ads that turned my stomach.
Exhibit A: Some cookie company changed Bow Wow Wow’s awesome song "I Want Candy" to "I Want Cookies"
Exhibit B: Kraft has made cheese that is niether blocky nor grated nor presliced. It’s crumbled. Ergo, they ripped off EMF’s song "Unbelievable" and replaced it with "Crumbelievable." Oh, how I wish I was kidding.
Exhibit C: Some car company used Stevie Wonder’s "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" to sell a signature series of something or other. At LEAST they didn’t change the lyrics!
Now, Bow Wow Wow was a two-hit wonder. I actually preferred "Baby Oh No" to "I Want Candy", so they can probably use the dough. Likewise EMF. What are they up to lately? But Stevie?! Stevie freaking Wonder? The man’s a living legend. I’m as disappointed in Stevie as I was in Ray Charles when he sang about "Little Chicken Sandwiches" for KFC back in the late ’80s.
Do I expect too much? Perhaps. Nothing the Rolling Stones do surprise me anymore. (and yes, that includes allowing Microsoft to use "Start Me Up" to shill Windows 95.) And you know when you hear a Beatles tune in advertising, it ain’t Paul and Ringo doing it. Michael Jackson just paid for another llama.
You’d never see Springsteen selling out like that.
Okay I’m done. Please drive through.