Trixieland

words about words

An honest Valentine for “nice guys”


You hate Valentine’s Day. You don’t have anyone to shower with flowers and candy because you’re “too nice.”

“Chicks,” you lament, “they always go for assholes that treat them like shit. Here I am, ready and willing to lavish all my love and attention on a woman but she put me in the friend zone because I’m nice.”

sad valentine

Here’s my blunt, frank, no-bullshit Valentine for you, Lonely Nice Guy.  It’s not because you’re “nice” that women don’t want to be with you; it’s because you’re unattractive.

“What? You bitch! How dare you say that?!”

Your unattractiveness may not stem from your physical appearance. But it might. We judge you just as you judge us. We also prefer firm bodies, shiny hair, clear skin, and a nice smile full of straight white teeth.

But, you can look fine and still be unattractive. Know why? Do you really want to know why or will you just flame the messenger? Read on if you are prepared to take an honest look at yourself.

You’re unattractive because:

  • You’re a whiny bitch. All this complaining about being nice is tiresome. You sound like a child. Complaining is the anti-sexy.
  • You’re angry. Not only are you boohoo sad about your single state, you’re mad as hell at the women who don’t want you and the men they do want. Anger, also, is not sexy.
  • You’re creepy. When you do score a date you give too much too soon. Calling all the time, gifts, flowers etc? It’s off-putting. We like to wait and wonder. You’re too easy. And that’s not sexy.
  • You’re entitled. You deserve a girlfriend. Because you’re nice. And you’re angry and whiny because you’ve been ripped off.

“But I don’t want to play games! Someone should love me just the way I am! If I have to change to get a girlfriend then she’s a shallow bitch who doesn’t deserve me!”

I hear you, sir. But romance IS a game. It’s always been a game which is why we keep playing. Why we as a species spend so much of our creative energy writing books, singing songs, and painting pictures about it. It’s exciting because the rules stay basically the same, but mutate just slightly each time to keep us interested.

You don’t need a complete overhaul. Just try: keeping your whiny anger to yourself. Have some dignity and don’t tell everyone you know about how lonely and unappreciated you are. Hold back a little. When you do meet someone you like don’t immediately smother her in the desperate Snuggie of your love.

Or do you want to be alone next year, too?

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10 thoughts on “An honest Valentine for “nice guys”

  1. Yikes! Hope your marine is on protection detail!

  2. I have been hitting “refresh” all day waiting for comments.
    Here is another tip… if you are a nice guy, spend your time doing nice things for people and girls will notice.

  3. Nicely said. Girls want nice guys, not “Nice Guys” ™. It takes more, MUCH more for anybody (male or female) to be considered relationship material than just being “nice.” Niceness is an obvious requirement, but that alone does not attract dates. The main thing a Nice Guy lacks is that they really don’t know what they are doing. They don’t understand how to relate, they don’t understand dating, and they don’t understand their own lives well enough to be able to hold up their end of a relationship. Basically Nice Guys ™ give off the very obvious vibe that they have nothing to bring to a relationship and that makes potential dates shy off. Some of them are also so obvious in their attempts to get in our pants that it gives you contact embarrassment just talking to them. Seriously guys, we CAN tell.

    And a sure fire red flag you can wave around is “Girls only want to date jerks who abuse them, not nice and respectful guys like me!”

    If you don’t understand what’s wrong with that statement, you have no business being in a relationship.

  4. I’m male, but then again what I’m about to say is a universal truth to both genders; its not an issue of being nice or not, but physical appearance is the first thing you notice about an individual, and the better looking you are, the more inter-mingling with the opposite gender you’ll be exposed to. Once you realise you’re good looking, and have no intention to settle down in the near future, you’re less inclined to put as much effort in fomenting a romantic, long-term relationship – hence more break ups, and hence why ‘nice’ guys lament these heartbroken girls ignore them.

    Girls know this too. If a guy isn’t attracted to them physically, he most likely wont consider them relationship material – and so why that guy is heartbroken by a woman whom he chose for beauty, this girl will advise him to go for girls for their personality.

    ‘Nice’ in this context therefore isn’t about perceived character flaws but rather opposite; their decent character and good personality traits are ignored in favour of other pursuits. ‘Nice’ is invoked to draw a parallel to the complaints of heartbroken individuals who wonder where the ‘nice’ guys/girls are; it is that irony why we use the term ‘nice’.

    A nice personality, and the capacity of being relationship material, is all on our lists but if we’re honest about it, good looks are often on top of that list.

  5. New Single Guy on said:

    I have a few Nice Guy (TM) friends that I wish would read this post. Absolute truth.

  6. What’s funny is that if a guy made a similar blog post, they’d be labelled as a misogynist.

  7. The sad truth on said:

    Is that most women don’t want wimps. Oddly enough many men turn into wimps over the course of a relationship. It gets beaten out of us when women become too controlling.

  8. Haha I have no idea how I got to this blog.. Anyways thanks for the article I found it interesting to say the least…

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