An honest Valentine for “nice guys”
You hate Valentine’s Day. You don’t have anyone to shower with flowers and candy because you’re “too nice.”
“Chicks,” you lament, “they always go for assholes that treat them like shit. Here I am, ready and willing to lavish all my love and attention on a woman but she put me in the friend zone because I’m nice.”
Here’s my blunt, frank, no-bullshit Valentine for you, Lonely Nice Guy. It’s not because you’re “nice” that women don’t want to be with you; it’s because you’re unattractive.
“What? You bitch! How dare you say that?!”
Your unattractiveness may not stem from your physical appearance. But it might. We judge you just as you judge us. We also prefer firm bodies, shiny hair, clear skin, and a nice smile full of straight white teeth.
But, you can look fine and still be unattractive. Know why? Do you really want to know why or will you just flame the messenger? Read on if you are prepared to take an honest look at yourself.
You’re unattractive because:
- You’re a whiny bitch. All this complaining about being nice is tiresome. You sound like a child. Complaining is the anti-sexy.
- You’re angry. Not only are you boohoo sad about your single state, you’re mad as hell at the women who don’t want you and the men they do want. Anger, also, is not sexy.
- You’re creepy. When you do score a date you give too much too soon. Calling all the time, gifts, flowers etc? It’s off-putting. We like to wait and wonder. You’re too easy. And that’s not sexy.
- You’re entitled. You deserve a girlfriend. Because you’re nice. And you’re angry and whiny because you’ve been ripped off.
“But I don’t want to play games! Someone should love me just the way I am! If I have to change to get a girlfriend then she’s a shallow bitch who doesn’t deserve me!”
I hear you, sir. But romance IS a game. It’s always been a game which is why we keep playing. Why we as a species spend so much of our creative energy writing books, singing songs, and painting pictures about it. It’s exciting because the rules stay basically the same, but mutate just slightly each time to keep us interested.
You don’t need a complete overhaul. Just try: keeping your whiny anger to yourself. Have some dignity and don’t tell everyone you know about how lonely and unappreciated you are. Hold back a little. When you do meet someone you like don’t immediately smother her in the desperate Snuggie of your love.
Or do you want to be alone next year, too?