Stop saying this shit in 2015!


“The feels” 
Example: “All the feels” [link to kitten video or other heart-string-tugging media]; “This got me right in the feels” What it means: “This provoked an emotional response. Emotions remind me of being a child, so I will use toddler-esque language to express myself.” Grow up!

“Nailing it/Killing it/Sedating it, cutting it up and burying it in a shallow grave”
A sloppy fallback that implies perfection when it’s not what the user means. Also, the world is pretty violent already. What say we go easy on the bloody imagery?

“Because ____.”
This sentence fragment needs to fuck off. Especially “Because reasons.” It’s tired. It doesn’t make sense. If you don’t know the answer then say so. If you do know the answer fill in the fucking blank with a complete thought instead of the equivalent of pointing and grunting.

“You’re doing it wrong.”
Hasn’t this died yet? Fuck you. I’ll do it how I do it.

Examples: “The greatest video you will ever see in your life.” “This wins the Internet forever.” “This photo of Jennifer Lawrence is EVERYTHING.” Clickbait headlines are the main culprit, but I see it creeping into regular use. “I’m dead from the cute.” “The feels have ended me.”

This post just killed. It’s literally the last thing you’ll ever need to put in front of your eyes. If it doesn’t hit you in the feels you’re doing it wrong. Because reasons.

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