So I’m sitting in Asia de Cuba tonight, stuffing my face on dragon roll and short ribs, when who should walk in…. Pauly Shore himself. The most horrifying specimen on the planet.
Seriously, kids, he inspired a game that my girlfriends and I play. It goes like this: we see a gross dude, then, to determine exactly how repellent he is we ask, "Would you rather do him or Pauly Shore?" And the answer is NEVER Pauly Shore. Dick Cheney or Pauly Shore? Cheney. Quasimodo or the star of Bio-Dome? The bell ringer of Notre Dame by a mile. Pauly Shore is the high water mark for unf**kability.
My friend O spotted him before I did and, knowing how I feel about him, looks at me and says "Do NOT freak out."
The Weasle then sat down about three feet away from me. I almost hurled. Luckily Maj showed up and sat between us.