- My Xbox croaked. Requiescant in pace, old fella. Good times. Speaking of Latin, I don’t like the new pope.
- My sunburn is itchy. Wah.
- Does anyone else think Nancy Grace is really freaking stupid? She reminds me of some too-dumb-and-perky-to-know-she’s-an-idiot class treasurer. ‘Tain’t legal analysis, Jethro.
- My new favorite (non-Xbox) game is Mojo Master. I rule at picking up chicks.
- Missing Boy Scouts. How ’bout we all just stay inside where it’s safe? Yeah.
- At least I don’t have to worry about baboons breaking into my apartment.
- Aruba search: Psst… you’re on an ISLAND. Try lookin’ for her in the WATER!
- Tom and Katie: Oy. Poor lil’ thing’s got a nasty surprise coming her way…you know what I’m talkin’ about.
- I’m considering getting a part-time job as a Sexual Harassment Panda. You know, to make some extra cash.