I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. But the onset of summery weather in Seattle has brought something to my attention that I hoped would just go away.
I know not all of you are offenders, but working at Microsoft I see a host of summer sins that I’d like to go away.
- Denim shorts. Just don’t do it. Girls can do it–in fact I frequently bust out the Daisy Dukes–but men can NOT. It’s unsightly and dorky and we girls beg you to just throw them away. I have even seen an occasional hottie wear those and so clearly even the best of you need to be educated.
- Sandals. If you have gnarly toes, hobbit-like tufts of hair on your feet, or yellow crusty toenails, keep your damn feet covered up! However this does not mean you should ever wear…
- Socks with sandals. What the hell are you thinking, boys? Why don’t you just put a big piece of tape on your glasses, bust out a pocket protector and pick your nose–it all just screams geek.
- If you have fabulously toned arms please please please wear tank tops–yummy. If your upper arms resemble fat loaves of bread dough or twigs…keep ’em under wraps.
- Speedos. Nuff said.
Thank-you for your prompt attention to this matter. Please drive through.