Trixieland

words about words

A sad story about tools and gnats


My mother is coming to town. Forever. And my apartment is currently Martha Stewart’s worst nightmare. Which is only fair, since she’s mine. So I’ve got about 50 billion CDs, DVDs and Xbox games that are currently piled on top of the TV and scattered on the floor. I need someplace to stash them. So I purchase an "Easy Assembly" cheap drawer thingie and lug the box home. How hard could it be to put together?
 
Well, if you have the upper body strength of a gnat, and one toothpick-sized screwdriver… it’s pretty damn hard. And of course it didn’t come with enough screws. I call Maj, who counsels me: "Dude, you live right next to Home Depot. Go get a screwdriver." Well okay then.
 
Does anyone else feel their IQ drop when they walk through those big orange doors? I am frickin’ useless at that place! So some orange-aproned dude had to help me find screws and a screwdriver. AND it’s raining. AND it was already dark at 4:30pm. 😦
 
Four hours,  a couple of owies, and one ugly piece of furniture later I realize this: It is time to come out of mourning and get a new boyfriend. One with tools. Power tools. Yeeeeaaaaah.
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20 thoughts on “A sad story about tools and gnats

  1. julien on said:

    I am sorry but I only will be able to post a comment on that when I will be done laughing, not sure how long it will take though…

  2. It’s been raining here too, all day. I miss California! 😦

  3. joelle on said:

    I think that’s a sad story with a happy ending!

  4. more power! ar ar ar

  5. I have one of those easy stow-away cases. It looks like it belongs in a 10 year olds room because its yello, green, blue, and red. I have no clue what it has in it, but its real cheap to buy, probably like 20$ and its made of plastic. Easy assemply for anybody who knows how to push a rolling wheel into a hole. Should’ve just asked the Home Depot guy to help ya assemble it.

  6. Wouldn’t it be easier to shove them under the bed or throw them in the closet, heck you could have send them my way for safe keeping 😉

  7. I’ve got a huge powertool. 😉

  8. TriX, how bout getting a maid in for cleaning? I here you’ve already got the outfit.

  9. That was NOT a maid outfit! I was dressed as a bad fairy. The kind that only grants baaaaad wishes. Jeez!

  10. Sorry TriXie. Were you the sort of fairy that could order me up a really baaaaad maid?

  11. Unknown on said:

    I had your exact problem last year. Stuff everywhere and Mom was coming.The solution is Ikea. They have can solve any storage problems. My games, CD’s, Movies were everywhere but then I bought a BONDE entertainment unit and it solved the problem. Ikea has 2 types of storage systems that will hold your entertainment stuff. They have the BONDE line storage system and BILLY. The look great and hold a lot of junk in a neat orderly fasion. I was able to impress my mom with how neat and tidy the living room looked compared to the mess before. Ouch that sounds like a bad commercial oh well… I just hope it helps.

  12. Surly Duff on said:

    Everyone missed the point. It’s not about the tools and gnats. It’s about her mother coming to town. FOREVER.

  13. Buy the tools, rent the man. Less maintenance in the long run.Hm. That’s sorta like, leave the gun; take the canoli from the Godfather, isn’t it?

  14. At least you didn’t tell me to ‘go to the mattresses’ 😉

  15. Christa on said:

    btw, some love from Old Gma HC:"TriXie, the resident Jackie Brown of XBox Live, has been having some problems with her mom, her apartment, and a screwdriver. Amazingly none of this has to do with alcohol.Grandma responds: "I just have Tim build everything. Then if he f***s it up, it’s not my fault!" http://oghc.blogspot.com/2005/11/monday-blog-roundup.html

  16. MthdDirector on said:

    She’s the best.We gotta get Grandma Hardcore a gig at IGN or someplace. A photo of her w/ weekly gaming advice for the youngins’. That would rock.

  17. Eugene L on said:

    I love your comment at the end, Trixie. That was one of the best laughs I have had in quite some time. Good luck with your mother and work.

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