My apologies if this has already been pointed out elsewhere on the interweb tubes…
I think the question of who is cooler is also a test of whether you are an introvert or an extrovert.
Ninjas are solitary; Pirates run in crews.
Ninjas are silent; Pirates cuss, sing, and say AARRRRGH!
Ninjas have to be in top physical condition; you can be a one-eyed, one-legged alcoholic and still be a kickass Pirate
Ninjas are serious and dedicated; Pirates are unrepentant party animals
Ninjas have to uphold some dumb ‘code’; Pirates are cooler the more loutish they are
Ninjas are asexual; Pirates have wenches
Ninjas have to wear black all the time; Pirate get to wear all kinds of cool outfits, plus they have tattoos
Ninjas need to keep their reflexes sharp; Pirates are drunk all the time
Ninjas only get to hang out in dark alleys and temples; Pirates get to explore the world.
To sum up: ninjas are librarians, pirates are strippers.