Trixieland

words about words

Magic, phobias and the evil that is KP


Let me set the scene for you: It’s 1978 and I am a small child. Hush to those of you who were just a gleam in your mommy’s eye back then. In 1978 there was a movie out called "Magic." It was about an evil ventriloquist’s dummy. The TV commercial for "Magic" featured said evil dummy speaking into the camera in an extreme close-up, and I think there was some creepy music. This commercial scared the living bejeebus out of young TriXie. When the commercial came on, I was too afraid to get close enough to the TV to change the channel or turn it off (no remote, people!). Instead I would run into the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the water, cover my ears and hum "The Star Spangled Banner" as loud as I could.
 
This trauma incited a lifelong phobia of ventriloquist’s dummies, puppets and many dolls.
 
Fast forward to 2007. I make the mistake of confessing said fear of "Magic" to KP. A week later "Magic" becomes available on Video Marketplace and much mocking of TriXie ensues. In fact the VMP dudes say they put it up on Marketplace just for me.
 
It gets worse. KP starts asking me if I’ve checked my mail. I’m suspicious, but I pick up a package from Amazon, pull the cardboard tag and put my hand in the package: I feel a DVD case and say "OH NO". Yes, that little bastahd sent me a copy of "Magic."
 
Of course I refuse to watch it–it’s still in the shrink wrap. But the terror continues as my rotten son (who is basically a clone of KP in evil intelligence and demeanor) keeps putting that frickin’ movie in unexpected places. I open the fridge for a Diet Coke–there’s that goddman dummy staring out at me from next to the Philly cream cheese! I’m settling down in bed for a nice read, and damnit that horrible wooden face is glaring at me from under the comforter. It makes me shriek everytime, which of course continues the assaults.
 
If those two little poops ever actually coordinate their attacks, I am DOOMED.
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23 thoughts on “Magic, phobias and the evil that is KP

  1. Hahaha! Interesting little story trixie 🙂

  2. *g*  I’m not saying a word.

  3. Posting this was a very bad idea.  I envision a meeting where your entire team speaks through dolls now.  KP–go to work and make the ‘Magic’ happen.  Bad pun I know.

  4. Leave me on said:

    For those curious, here’s what she is talking about:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7JJK8W-UQsAnd yes TriXie, it did the same thing to me.  PLEASE DON’T WATCH IT!

  5. Nicholas on said:

    I’m conflicted on how to feel about this blog post.  On one hand I love to mess with people and play pranks on them, so I really love this.  On the other hand I have a very real fear of clowns and the box for the movie "Ghoulies" freaks me out.   So it’s like I truly do feel for you, yet it’s hilarious.  I’m just a bastard…

  6. OMG I hated that TOOOOO! I’ll bet KP has been, dun dun dun……SMILING! What a stink. (sorry your son is too adorable to mock at this time) You know what we have to do TriX, yeah…we HAVE to watch it and face it! ……..YOU FIRST! Tell me how it goes, k? Meanwhile, Im mixing up a special batch of fudge for KP. *eville smiley*
     
    ~Luvz!

  7. GreenLantern4 on said:

    Acclaimed director Richard Attenborough helms this unconventional horror-thriller that reveals Anthony Hopkins’s penchant for creepiness years before his Oscar-winning turn as Dr. Hannibal Lecter. After bombing in his first solo performance, a magician’s assistant (Hopkins) holes up with a ventriloquist’s dummy named Fats and eventually hones his act into something spectacular. But when Fats starts talking back, his master’s at his mercy.
     
    😐  I never knew this movie existed until now.  When I think of freaky puppets, I think of that "Tales from the Crypt" episode where it turned out to be his Siamese twin attached at the hand.  I also have a wonderful tainted Christmas memory of decorating the tree as a kid while my father had "Ghoulies" playing.  What better way to get into the spirit of the things and being afraid of some creature jumping out of the tree at you?

  8. GreenLantern4 on said:

    I just watched the trailer on Netflix.  That is the trailer that scared the Hell out of you?!?  🙂 It is best to erase this blog post and hope the damage done by it is min. lmao.

  9. Kevin M on said:

    Chicka chickaaaaah

  10. So finding a similar dummy online, buying it, and shipping it to KP would be a bad idea?  I’d get in trouble?
     
    KP, I have disposable income, and too much free time.  shipping address?

  11. I guess we know what KP will be dressing as for e’s Halloween Party next year.

  12. Rainmaker2112 on said:

    Fats: They’ll put you somewhere dark and mooo-dy…
     
    Alas, nothing like memorable quotes from the movie, eh?
     
    Trixie, be sure to check out the following link for more favs from the movie…..

  13. I am with Feelz Good on this one.  I am conflicted.  It is fun to mess with people, but dolls that come to life are no joke.  Yes, if it was a clown it would be worse.  I tried to watch ‘It’ the other night and as soon as he started calling for Georgie and poked his head up in the sewer …. I was gone. My son would fear great bodily harm to pull evil tricks like KP and your son are doing!!  EVIL!

  14. Anyone remember the dummy in Poltergeist?
     
    Yeah, same story.

  15. Synapse on said:

    Wow, Trix….I had the same phobia about that stupid Mortimer Snerd dummy. I wouldn’t even look at print ads about that movie…
    lemme see if I can conjure up the horror that the TV ad ingrained in me….
     
    *cue teh closeup of that phucker’s eyes*
    …and ACTION!
     
    Abracadabra I sit on his knee
    Presto chango, now he is me
    Hocus Pocus we take her to bed
    Magic is FUN!
    We’re dead…..
     
     
    *cue uncontrollable shudder*
     
    My mom told a story to my wife about me being a kid and getting one of those "Alien" movie action figures that stood about 2′ tall. I had to sleep with that thing in the closet AFTER I ASKED FOR IT FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! My wife won’t let me live that one down.
     
    Shoot…them dolls is scayrey.
     
    Whenever the site gets up and running, I HIGHLY recommend you read about "Annabel" on Ed and Lorraine Warren’s website.

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