Being a bit of a bad disaster movie afficianado, I greatly enjoyed the trailer for Mega Piranha which features a triple threat of Tiffany (the mall singer), inane dialog, ("I want to kill them all!") and fish-kicking. You can enjoy it for yourself here.
Anyway, I got to thinking: What if a disaster occurred at Xbox? How would people behave in the face of uberbadness? Who would take command and who would curl into a fetal ball? Who would keep a cool head and who would beginning screaming passages from Revelations?
You know the cliches already, all you need is a cast. Ergo:
The scientist whose dire predictions led to his being discredited but who is now proven right – Marc "notwen" Whitten
The brainiac hacker that accesses the POTUS email account and declares a federal emergency – Eric "DMZilla" Doty
The washed-up alcoholic newsman who makes a comeback by breaking the conspiracy story – Larry "Major Nelson" Hryb
The mysterious zillionaire who says "F this disaster" and takes off in his silver spaceship – J "HiroProtagonist" Allard
The oblivious guy who wanders out with a half-eaten Hot Pocket "Hey guys, what’s up?" and gets eaten – Keven "KP" Paul
The hoarder who refuses to evacuate and stays in harm’s way clutching a gun and a scrapbook – Denny "editer" Atkin
The chick who inexplicably has massive sharpshooting skillz yet falls down constantly and inconveniently – Well, I guess that’d be me.
Now all we need is a disaster. Mutated server-hamsters maybe? Black hole created by mating horse armor to stimulous package?