Okay, novelists don’t really have billable hours. I worked in a PR agency for a brief, miserable period and keeping track of how much time I spent on every little thing was a massive pain in my ass. That 15 minute chunk of time when I was staring out the window watching pigeons have sex on the neighboring roof? Which client can I bill that to?
Anyway, I got to thinking, now that I’m only working for me (and my readers), what if I had to account for every quarter-hour of time? So, today, I kept track. Submitted for your approval, my non-billable hours or
A Semi-Productive Day in the Life of a Novelist
9:00 – 9:15 Source reference photos for Hiatus Project
9:15 – 9:30 Write Hiatus Project
9:30 – 9:45 Watch Magic Mike XXL trailer.
9:45 – 10:00 Tell reader via Instagram that Glitched will release March 31
10:00 – 10:15 Send email to editor and proofreader about trying to hit March 31
10:15 – 10:30 Log into Lexy’s twitter account and follow-back new followers. Also, post Gronk photo.
10:30 – 10:45 Write Hiatus Project
10:45 – 11:00 Research makes and models of Mercedes-Benz sedans (for project, I swear!)
11:00 – 11:15 Realize plot of Hiatus Project has similarities to popular 90s film. Text best friend to confess.
11:15 – 11:30 Curate appropriate playlist to inspire Hiatus Project writing. Fall down a “Stripper Anthem” rabbithole.
11:30 – 11:45 Fold laundry while pondering the temperature of imminent Hiatus Project sex scene
11:45 – 12:00 Write Hiatus Project
12:00 – 12:15 Realize this is an early release day for school. Panic.
12:15 – 12:30 Write Hiatus Project furiously until mind starts to wander…
12:30 – 12:45 Watch YouTube videos of Gronk spiking footballs
12:45 – 1:00 Rewrite chunk of chapter two of Hiatus Project so chapter nine won’t be fucked up.
2:00 – 2:15 Kindergartner arrives home. Work day is finished.
All in all, I did get some stuff done. I wrote 1,948 words on Hiatus Project, my editor says March 31 is good with her (still waiting to hear from my proofreader), and I totally Gronked out.