My morning was marred by a person who left a pretty nasty comment on my other blog. The post I’d written was called Bad Mommy and was a list of stuff I’ve done and do as a parent that the so-called experts probably wouldn’t recommend. I was seeking neither absolution nor advice. My purpose -if I even had one- was to amuse myself and anyone who read it.
So this young woman who is single and childless decidedto give me a piece of what passes for her mind. She is some sort of expert in parenting because she works at an Elementary school. She may be the Lunch Lady or a custodian, but I’m quite certain she’s not a teacher.
She thinks that I am “horrible,” and she feels it is okay to judge me because I wrote that blog post and that is asking to be judged.
I think that merits some discussion. Is posting something publically an invitation to be judged? Can any random asshole make remarks about anything? Well, I know they can and do, but is that what we secretly desire when we share ourselves online?
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Wow I thought that after all of us who defended you on that, would have made you feel better, but clearly this girl and her remarks touched something in you.
Christa yes if you put something out there to the public..you are putting it out there to be judged whether you like it or not. She questioned your parenting skills and it clearly really bothered you….sooo that tells me that deep down inside you have been questioning your own choices. If you are looking for some advice and answers, you may get all of those things by putting this blog up also.
SOOO here it goes…I personally think that some of your decisions regarding some of your choices could have been better. What you may ask? well allowing your oldest to continue with his obviously lazy behavior..if he is to succeed in the real world..he really really needs to grow up like now. I understand he now has a part time job and that is wonderful, but is he contributing to the place he lives? does he offer to pay rent or even his own bus fare? is he being responsible is the question I am getting at.
when your second complains of a belly ache..is it really a good enough excuse to just skip school when she don’t feel like going? Do you skip work because you have a ” bely ache? ” Is it teaching her that life sucks and we all have to deal with that? I don’t think so IMO.
I think as I read all the stuff you put out there, that you are a wonderful mom, and wonderful wife and a wonderful friend. who is HUMAN Christa, who sometimes feels overwhelmed and who sometimes takes the lazy way out as we all do. I think that what you are doing is fine, I like the fact that you are questioning some decisions and are looking for out side advice. You are not a bad parent or wife. You have a very very good head on your shoulders, who obviously loves her kids and her life. I am telling you what I may have done differently in hindsight with some situations, but then again, Holly and I can not have kids for what ever reason and all we have are cats and dogs and nieces and Nephews. What ever you do and what ever you say Christa, we as your friends and fans, love you and we think no less of you. You are human just as the rest of us. Hang in there kiddo and keep doing the best you can do.
I think when you post something online you’re opening a discussion, but that’s not that same thing as asking to be judged. I thought your post was funny, and proves the point that none of us are perfect parents, and I think it was really brave. So many moms I know work so hard to create the illusion that they’re doing everything “perfectly” and would never admit to (*gasp* the horror!) giving their toddler a cookie. But we all make our compromises and do what we have to do, whether it’s a cookie, a teenager taking a day off from school, or some other parenting “crime”.
Like I said over on the blog post, your choices aren’t my choices – and of course and vice versa – but I don’t think the intent of the post was to invite discussion on the individual “confessions”. I think it was a fun and funny way of saying we’re all just doing the best we can.
When you open yourself up online it starts a conversation, but that’s not the same as asking to get slammed. Even if someone disagrees with you, there are intelligent and considerate ways to have a debate without making it a personal attack.
I think you may have been away from the Xbox forums for too long. Or maybe it’s just that it’s your parenting being criticized. But if it’s on the internet, someone is going to talk crap. A picture of a skinny model will elicit a cry of “she’s so fat” from someone with a serious eating disorder. And then there’s people who are simply trolls. They say something they know will make people angry just to get lulz. Anything that can be criticized will be criticized. And then someone will make porn out of it. That’s the way the Internet works.
I think yes, once you make something public on the internet you leave it open for comments. Just like a judge today ruled that unless you protect your tweets or tweet anonymously they can be used publically.
That being said I don’t agree with it, I think generally people should use more tact when interacting online and not so much push their own agenda. I once had someone attack me on my blog repeatedly and I’ve made it clear in the comments that I didn’t want that person to reply any more and then deleted all future replies. My blog, my space.
I agree that once you put it out there you are basically asking for opinions on what you said. The problem with posts like you did is if you condense all those things into a single moment of time it may sound bad. But if you look at all those items spread out over three kids and almost 20 years they are such minuscule things that wouldn’t even blip on a radar if it wasn’t for the Internet and blogging.
I do have to say that some people should be able to hold their freaking tongues and maybe not be so honest with their opinions. I recently removed someone on my Facebook feed because I was having trouble NOT commenting on her lack of desire of being a mom to her newborn that she choose to have out of wedlock with a married man who now wants nothing to do with her.
I like your mean mommy/nice mommy posts and so does my mom! AND I know first hand your kids are pretty darn awesome so you are doing lots of things right 🙂